day 11: 10 words

Sell yourself in 10 words or less --- eek! i hate doing this.

okay, only because i committed to this daily thing.  please know i am the least vane person out there. seriously.

forgiving // compassionate // organized // hopeful // dreamer // loyal // honest // authentic // quirky // growing

and just for fun, 4 girls that make me a better person::

today i am::

:: drinking this tea 

:: letting my babies sleep for as long as they want in their car seats (going on over an hour for the first time EVER) praise Jesus!

:: admiring single parents out there. the hubs has been gone for three days & i am officially tired

:: also feeling liberated by the fact that i can survive parenting these two beauties by myself

:: itching to write and take good pictures and blog.  i just need to learn to use our camer(thinking i'm gonna have to bite the bullet and actually read the manual), i need to start keeping a notebook with me on some good topics to write about (& not be afraid to hit publish) and take the time each day now that the girls are napping consistently for about 45 minutes a time ...and write.

:: making my to-do list for when my mr. returns:  clean bathrooms (& house), grocery shop, write thank you's, etc, etc, etc

:: doing what i can to not drown in my first case of Spring fever and enjoy this gorgeous snow that exists right outside my windows

:: trying to figure out why i allow certain people to consistently steal my joy and have so much power over my emotions -- i need to own my inner self again

:: grateful that i am a mom, and get to stay home, talk all day, watch them grow, play and squeal with delight as they get excited to read books, learn new things and smile all the time.  i am so over the moon in love with my little darlings.

how can i not be? look at them!! ::

*Svea*

 *Maelyn*

*Svea (left) & Maelyn (right)*

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These days

:: we are anticipating 'babywatch' which officially begins in october. i will be 30 weeks along and with twins, i am told, is when we are to be 'watching closely.'  the hubs is homebound from any overnight travel, i am not allowed to travel more than an hour away and my feet must be elevated a few times a day.  with my mr. having a job that takes him away for many overnights a month, i cannot wait to have him home for awhile.  sleeping in our bed, at my arms reach, giving me comfort hugs when i start to worry whether i'll be a good mom or not and eating dinner together at the dinner table.  and of course, spending many a nights having what we call 'puppy appreciation' which entails puppy snuggles, walks, and kisses on the muzzle over and over and over again.

:: the weather has cooled and dropped to an average of 50 degrees at night.  the windows remain open, the fan blows right on me and for the first time in six months, i am waking up to a chilly feeling that is forcing me under the covers.  it is amazing.

:: healing in my heart continues to take place towards some broken relationships and i continue to remain extremely hopeful that these two sweet miracles will be a bridge back towards people both the mr. and i desperately and healthily want to have in our lives. i've heard that.  i've heard that babies give people a new purpose and reason to live. i can't wait to experience their gifts.

:: movies. television. couch potato nights.  we hardly have the tv on in the summer, if at all, but with fall here, shows starting back up, and my restrictive giant belly, i have a feeling we will be painted onto our couch watching as many movies as we can, and enjoying the last few times we have together, just us, zoned into a show and knowing that one day very soon we will not be able to do that anymore.

:: the crockpot is out.  recipes are being discovered. the oven is turned on almost daily.  comfort soups and stews are back and our bellies are enjoying the warmth of the food entering into them.  salads are less appealing and warm tea is how we finish our evenings.

:: candles!! they are out. and burning.  all day long.  now i just can't wait to get my christmas decor unpacked, play christmas music on the radio and smother our home in cinnamon and pine. *stop hating

:: prayer.  it has been consuming my lips daily.  filled with gratitude, humility, questions, fear, peace and desires for a safe labor, healthy babies and happy ending to the pregnancy.  asking for God to keep my heart focused on the right things, to keep comfort there in times of uncertainty when parenting is overwhelming and the exhaustion sets in.  to keep me humble and appreciative for every gift I am given when i look at my two dreams come true.  and to celebrate the two lives, that God knit together in my womb, for who they are...and who they will become.

for today . . .

i am loving learning to be still. i am loving learning to wait (yes, this contradicts itself to a year ago, but we grow, right?!). I am loving learning to be extremely present and take in the beauty, the moments of grace, the gift of quiet.

and when i stumbled upon this site, i knew i had to immediately link up.  it encourages all of the above, and then to write it down.  because don't ya think there is something to that?  to the writing down?  once it's written down, there is something that happens to your brain that allows it to soak in.

nourish your brain.  and your soul. and breathe in the moment.

and then life is filled with a beauty and peace that is so captivating, you want to revisit it time and time
and time again.

i think i will do this again. and again.

especially when i become a mama.

because that is a bit of my fear: that being a mama will absorb every single second of my day.  and even though i'm eagerly waiting for it; i may not force myself to stop and breathe it in.

i want to breathe in life and all that is happening around me.

because that is where the beauty lies.  the truth is revealed.  the peace pursues you.  and all is made well with your soul again.

it's that feeling.   and the feeling is so, so intoxicating.
i just love it.

so here i go, first step at journaling it; and many more to come . . .

outside my window...

grey skies. green grass. wet pavement. 

i am thinking...

of cool fall nights and autumn leaves. and everything we are anticipating happening this Fall.  

i am thankful...

for the lives growing inside of me. for a growing belly. for the journey leading up to these days. 

in the kitchen...

getting ready to head there. and make my homemade chicken salad for dinner with a dear family tonight.  

i am wearing...

one of the few items left that fit me. pajama bottoms and a comfy, over-sized grey long sleeved shirt.

i am creating...

a "please wash your hands" sign for our bathroom re-design and a "please take off your shoes" for our front entrance.

i am going...

to take my time today.  this weekend was busy.  and i am tired. 

i am wondering...
how to be more creative in my writing pursuit and how to be more disciplined in blogging.  because i'm really enjoying it.

i am reading...

everything baby.  breastfeeding. sleeping schedules. magazines. articles. & anything else that comes our way.

i am hoping...

that my anxieties disappear soon. i don't speak of them often, but i do internalize many a fears. 

i am looking forward to...

buying our cribs in the next couple of weeks & organizing the nursery. i am addicted to organizing. 

i am learning around the house...

that the to-do list is never ending.  to do what i can. and to let the rest go. 

i am pondering...

why my garden doesn't do well every year. maybe my 'green thumb' never really existed. :(

a favorite quote for today...
"There are far far better things ahead, than any we leave behind."  -C.S. Lewis 

one of my favorite things...

mornings like today. Eve, Ivy & Harley all snuggling with me in bed while I write. Lamp lit and blankets all around.

a few plans for the rest of the week...

paint second coat of nursery walls. meeting my friend's baby for the first time! car shopping. yoga. first neighborhood block party. 

and finally,

a peek into my day...

 :: painting second coat onto nursery walls ::

:: a lazy and beautiful morning of writing, reading & enjoying the quiet :: 

you should try it!
go for it . . . 

friday mini letters

dear me:
don't take a picture looking directly into the sun. for real. even with sunglasses on, everyone can still see your eyes closed.

dear mr:
i love you more everyday. thank you for telling me i'm beautiful and talking about these babies every hour with me. i am so excited to watch them fall in love with their daddy.

dear snow:
i miss you.  seriously.  see above in background.  come visit more this year, will ya? and maybe soon?

dear summer:
i've tried.  and tried. and tried to embrace you. but you've been hard on our brown grass, not allowed our veggies to grow and made us stay inside all of the time.  maybe drop the temp 10 degrees, will ya? i easily forgive. :)

dear main bathroom:
you are almost done! new paint. new painted vanity. new accessories. minimal dollars.  the babies are gonna love you!

dear nursery:
i am getting to you soon! painting will be done next week.  then we buy your cribs.  we can't wait! it'll be like Christmas in August!!!

dear animals:
i love each of you so much. and for real believe we have the coolest ones on this planet. thanks for being your special selves and I VOW to make sure you're paid attention to just as much when the wee-ones arrive.

dear belly:
i have officially embraced you. and don't care that it has now become a daily occurrence for someone to say, "wow, when are you due?" "are you sure there are only two in there?!"  seriously. i love what you are doing for our sweet and long awaited miracles.  keep growin!

dear sleep:
i never really cherished you before.  i am sorry for that.  if you want to visit a couple times before november, i will document you in my journal and hold you dear to my heart. promise.

dear style:
what little of you i had, i've lost again! wanna visit soon? and maybe with some green cash so i can update you? oh yeah, can you come and dress up a large balloon? that'd be swell.

dear mr:
what can i say, i smile thinking of how special you've made me feel these past few months. can you believe that we're gonna have 2 new family members one day soon?! they are gonna love you....but probably never more than I.  just sayin'

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my first pregnancy list

since i'm trying to get more disciplined about writing down my pregnancy feelings, daily musings and everything in between, i figured i'd better write about what it's been like being pregnant.

my honest feelings.  and a few of my favorite things.  i know that it may seem silly now, but i am convinced one day i will genuinely cherish that i did this.

belly oil :: i use this stuff religiously.  like right after i shower.  and right before i go to bed. and they even have a line that has a mild fragrance for an aroma therapy feeling.  i bought all three and have fallen the most in love with the CALM, lavender pear.  i tend to use that one at night when my tummy is tight and i'm feeling a little off.  it works like a charm, and (knock on wood) no stretch marks thus far.

yoga :: i started a prenatal yoga class a few weeks ago at a YMCA near our home and have loved it! it only meets once a week, but i am bound and determined to find a good dvd to do daily because of how good i feel after i stretch for those 60 minutes.  i tell ya, i have always appreciated stretching...but with an abnormally large belly, a tight lower back and muscles that ache in places i never really paid attention to before, stretching for a lengthy period of time makes me feel free-flowing and amazing.


Chiropractor :: i never really visited a chiropractor before. and i wish i wouldn't have waited so long. i've always struggled a little with sciatic nerve pain and at times it has become very limiting in allowing me to walk/run/exercise when i want to.  Well, my first trimester i have to say besides being tired, the only "issue" or "symptoms" i had were increasing sciatic pain.  it was so bad, that i would cry almost daily and not be able to move far from the couch or walk anywhere in my house. so i prayed and talked with people and had a couple friends encourage me to see a chiropractor. I took their advice, and here i am 5 1/2 months in and i've never felt this good before.  in fact, i go for two and three walks a day, plus do yoga, plus stuff around the house and it doesn't even flare up! I have decided after more research and my own experience, i will continue seeing my chiro once a week throughout my whole pregnancy to keep my lower back aligned and my pregnancy as healthy in a natural way as possible. Cheers to chiros!!


Quiet Time :: i've always enjoyed reading, but have tried to do so more often during these past few months.  i figured, now's the time, right? once these little ones come, my free time will be limited and i'll be using every "extra" time i have to probably catch up on sleep (or housework).  for fun, i finished the 50 shades trilogy in almost less than a week. holy moly. i loved every book. now i just need to find another fun, brainless read. :)   i am, however, also a huge believer in reading for knowledge. i feel like the more personal research and information i gather, the more options i have in my 'life bucket' to pull from when the time is needed.  and don't all parents say, "what works for some, doesn't work for everyone, so find what works for YOU and YOUR family?"  well, that's my plan.  so i'm reading everything from vaccine info, to sleeping routine suggestions, to parenting magazines, and of course the  nursery decor inspiration (gotta throw a little eye candy in there). ;) it's been wonderful talking through all this info with the hubs and we've had some amazing discussions surrounding how we want to parent and our dreams for our babies. *now i'm just looking for twin inspiration.

Sleep :: one of the many things moms and others tell "moms-to-be" is make sure to listen to your body. so going into this pregnancy, i decided to do just that.  well, for most things, i didn't really have a choice.  take sleep for example.  never have I, in all my years on this earth, been a napper.  seriously. don't like them. hate sleeping during the day. don't believe in them for anyone like myself.  until i became pregnant and couldn't make it through the lunch hour without having to lay down on the couch (or our bed) and let myself rest.  i would, no joke, sleep for 3 1/2 hours straight and wake up even more tired. it was hard for me to 'accept' and get used to, but i did what i was told and listened to my body, and allowed myself to sleep when needed.  i am growing two humans, right?


Cravings :: this was another strange adjustment for me. i love, love, LOVE sugar. candy. and anything sweet.  i needed it daily and often called myself a sugar addict.  until a few months ago.  i actually can't eat sweets.  or more than a bite or two of dessert.  it just is too sweet.  even the hubs has done double takes and been like, "wow, these babies are really changing your taste buds!"  *insert singing voice* awesome!!!!!!!  yep, i am a lucky gal.  the only cravings i've had are apples.  and when i want an apple, i want it now.  and maybe a second one.  or third.  like, if i don't get it or have one in my fridge, i'm gonna die.
i feel ridiculously spoiled.


Emotions :: i am a ball of them. i cry over happy stuff. i stress out over making everyone happy. i worry about my animals liking their life. i am ridiculously carefree one day, not caring about the small stuff.  and then the next, i feel like my house is in shambles and just blew up before my eyes.  you get the idea.   i have cried because i've been all of the above.  but mostly i have just laughed.  i always say, "i'm losin' it," and then shake my head.  the one thing i am consistently and most importantly feeling is an obscene amount of hope.  hope for a future filled with (trials yes) joy and anticipation, growth and love.  a future where i can say hello and not goodbye.  a future where i will watch my little miracles become people and find out more about who they are each and every day.  i am so hopeful in their lives and what God will do with them. What His plan is for them.  it's insane to think about how He has their purpose already planned and He's knitting them together, cell by cell, in my warm and dark womb. it, in all honesty, takes my breath away.  and i tear up.  and i'm filled with a gratitude like i've never known before.  to Him.  for choosing me.  and the mr.  to become their mom and dad during our lives on this earth.  thank you Jesus.  thank you.  thank you.  thank you.

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